The Blog Formerly Found On Vox

I Asked For Some Advice

My soon-to-be (better get used to saying it...) husband is of the belief that the honeymoon doesn't last, but if two people are intentional about it, things keep getting better and better. (The belief that love can start off strong and grow bigger and better instead of peaking and fading away is just one of the many reasons I love him).

I asked someone I greatly respect to share with me her thoughts about not only keeping love alive in a relationship, but nurturing and growing it. She gave me this. I think it's perfect. And is just as applicable to any relationship you want to grow.

How To Grow A Conscious R elationship

First, love yourself.

Ask yourself: What do I most want? 
Ask the people close to you: What do you most want? 

Appreciate yourself and your loved ones out loud at least every hour. 

Tell the truth always and all ways. 

Remember that the past is the past. It's doesn't have to color your present or future.

Treat yourself to lots of alone time

Change a routine. Any routine. 

Do what you say you're going to do. Don't do what you say you're not going to do. 

Remember that love is the dance of two open spaces who celebrate each other and that true love can only exist between absolute equals.

Breathe. 

Breathe. 

Breathe.  

Breathe in love for yourself. Breathe out love for everyone around you. 

Feel all your feelings. Give those around you room to feel all of theirs. 

Celebrate yourself for having created everything in your life just the way it is. 
Celebrate yourself for being willing to change it.

Touch the people you love as often as you can. 

Ask yourself, am I honoring my true essence in this moment? Am I honoring the essences of my loved ones?

Feel in your own heart the kind of love you want to receive from others. 

Remember that breath and love are the two sure cures for fear.

If you're inclined to think that was too Northern California hippy chick mumbo jumbo, check out with the wisdom and humor in "10 Ways To Divorce Proof Your Marriage by the very funny husband and wife Jason Jones and Samantha Bee from "The Daily Show". They say essentially the same thing, and each of their 10 things is a gem.
 

And Buddha Too

I Love You And Buddha Too

Oh Jesus, I love You
And I love Buddha too
Ramakrishna, Guru Dev
Tao Te Ching and Mohammad

Why do some people say
That there is just one way
To love You, God, and come to You?
We are all a part of You

You are un-nameable
You are unknowable
All we have is metaphor
that´s what time and space are for

Is the universe Your thought?
You are and You are not
You are many, You are one
Ever ending, just begun

Alright, alright, alright
I love You and Buddha too

I Love You And Buddha Too - Mason Jennings

Wedding Vows

Someone asked me if Amin was a Muslim.

He is.

Then they asked what kind of a wedding ceremony we were going to have. (If you're not friends on Facebook you might not have heard this news, but Amin and I are engaged and planning a wedding in October.)

I said "a non-denominational one."

Serial

Which prompted him to ask if I remember the wedding vows in the movie "Serial" with Martin Mull which was set in Marin County in the late 70's.

I remembered the movie because for some reason my sister Nancy mentioned it a few months ago too, but I didn't remember the wedding vows, until I looked them up online. The Internet is so handy that way.

I'm sure ours will be somewhat similar.

Kidding! Of course. 

Reverend:
Fellow members of the human community, this is the wedding of two separatenesses.

Martha:
You-ness, One-ness, Us-ness, We-ness.
Yours-ness, My-ness, Our-ness, Happiness.
Now, I want to know where your head is at.

Bill:
Thank you Martha for pushing my button.
Thank you for wanting me to participate in your life for I am an asshole and being an asshole is neither good nor bad, it just is.

Reverend:
I think that says it all. I now announce you pair-bonded for as long as your relationship continues.

We-ness