Sent from my mobile phone:
I've been sitting in the Social Security office for over an hour, marriage certificate in hand waiting to change my name. This is the first stop today after the getting the official document from the Country Clerk. Next up, if I ever get out of here, will be the DMV and the Passport office. Then I will once again have a name that feels like my own.
But before I can get a move on with this identity reclaimation process, I must endure a small, harshly lit and smelly waiting room with a slice of humanity worthy of a Master's thesis in eccentricity. There's the woman who looks like a cross between Koko the Gorilla and the Friday the 13th character Michael Meyers next to the ginger haired midget with the broken heart tattoo on her arm, missing a few yellow teeth and silver sparkly sneakers with fuschia colored laces. My favorite act in this freak show is the little old man outfitted in head-to-toe SF Giants garb with a Sony cassette Walkman blasting what sounds like Polka music next to the angriest looking Japanese girl in pigtails I've ever seen punching out her rage on a poor iPhone. Just to keep the peace, there's a security guard watching over all of us.
To amuse myself further (or just to keep from seeing those kids in the corner eatting boogers) I'm trying to figure out what I should use as my "gansta" married name, A.K.A. my new default user ID in the online world. The one I've been using for the past 10 years contains part of my old married name, so I think it's time to find an alternative to "pmmarcov".
Vote for your favorite
1.) P-Shaker-M and M
3.) Cleo P. Shakster
4.) Shake It P Em Em
5.) PattyShake PattyShake (Baker's Man)
On second thought, maybe I should just go back to watching the freak show.
I'm guesssing I'll have another one I can compare it to when I wait it out at the DMV next.